"Desires dictate our priorities.
Priorities dictate our choices.
Choices dictate our actions."
What we persistantly desire is what we will become and what will be ours through eternity.
He will judge us according to our works and according to the desires of our hearts.
We may be tempted to seek after property, prominance, pride and power- they should not be our highest priorities.
It is our actions and desires that cause us to become something.
Above all, we should desire to become like HIM.
I really enjoyed this talk for a few reasons.
Every now and then, I lose focus on my priorities. I start looking at other's lives that have taken a different route and find myself starting to desire more and more for things we don't have right now. It makes me appreciate what we do have less and less. That is why things like going to church, serving others and listening to conference are so good- they bring you back and help you re-establish your priorities.
I have almost given up on blogging so many times in the past year or so. I am not talking about in keeping up my own blog (I will continue to use it as a journal so I can print it into books for our family one day!), but in reading other's blogs. I have been frustrated with some of the things people say and constantly post about. It gets harder and harder to relate to old friends when they babble on about how getting married and having children right away is so limiting and takes away all your fun or how you can't have a good marriage unless you wait and go have fun together first and travel and play. It REALLY bugs me. Why?
***I got married at 19. (gasp!) I thought it was crazy at first too when JC wanted me to follow him out to Oregon and be his wife, but only for the reasons of how young I was. I soon learned from a wonderful experience that when you find the right one, there is no point in waiting and that it was the right thing for me personally to do. I knew without a doubt that JC was the right one from the first few weeks we started dating. I had actually dated quite a bit already for a 19 year old before I met him. He was everything I had been looking for in a worthy priesthood holder. It did help that I was extremely attracted to him and he loved sports even more than I did :). He had all the good qualities I had liked from previous boyfriends and none of their bad qualities. He was perfect, and still is.
***We both loved kids and talked from the beginning about how excited we were to be able to raise Heavenly Father's children together. I had wanted to be a mother my entire life (my own mother can vouch for that). We had our first little boy 15 months after we got married. It was 3 months after my 20th birthday. We had our 2nd little boy two years after that. It has been wonderful. Very hard and very tiring at times, but oh so rewarding. Our marriage has thrived as we have worked together to try to figure out how to be the best parents we can be. We have spent so many nights cuddling in bed together talking late into the night about each of our boys- their different personalities, how to help them in areas they are struggling in, how exciting it was to see them accomplish a certain milestone, how hilarious they can be, how forgiving of us they are, and our hopes and dreams for them and our family in the times that are ahead. Nothing has brought me greater joy and happiness. NEVER ONCE have we said we wished we had waited a little longer to have children. I do not believe the whole "you will be stronger and better parents if you wait." I do think it is different for everyone and is something that should be a decision made by you and your spouse with the Lord's guidance on when is right for you and your family. It should not be a decision you decide on based on what everyone else thinks and no one is in a position to tell someone else when they think the time is right for that person. As long as you have righteous desires and a selfless attitude, you will be blessed with help from above and your family will thrive.
*** We have ALWAYS had our needs met. No we don't own a big fancy home yet. Yes we spent the first 3 years of our marriage as poor starving college students. It has been very hard financially at times, but we have always had our needs met and more. Miracles have come from having faith and paying tithing. Prayers have been answered and blessing sent. I cannot even begin to describe how full my heart is with gratitidue. I think that because we didn't start out our marriage with two successful careers and a nice home and savings in the bank, we will always be more grateful for what we do have. We have worked hard and at times have had to put A LOT of trust and faith in the Lord without knowing how things will work out. I cannot wait to be able to share some of those testimony building experiences we have had through those times with our children and grandchildren at a time when they will be ready and needing to hear them.
***Our boys are healthy and HAPPY. SO happy. We love them with our whole hearts. They love us, they love each other and are thriving. It is not what you have around you that makes you a better parent, it is what you desire, what your attitude is and the choices you make. Like Elder Oaks said, it is all about your priorities and the desires in your heart.
THANK YOU Elder Oaks for reminding me of those things I need to be desiring after and what should be my top priorities.
I love being a mother. I love being a wife. I love my family. I cannot wait to "Listen to a prophet's voice" tomorrow. Here's how you can listen if you are not a member of our church and are interested in what I am talking about:
Oh, and one more thing. I have the best husband in the world. I love him. Here's a few of my reasons why, just from this week alone:
** He knew when I was leaving our messy house Wednesday night for mutual that I was stressed out about my boss coming by the next morning. I came home from a wonderful evening in the temple with the youth in doing baptisms to about 3 loads of laundry all folded, dishes done, kitchen spotless, the family room vacuumed and my office all tidied up and looking nice. I wanted to cry I was so grateful for him.
** After an emotional break down and grumpy day from me due to that special time of month, HE was the one to apologize first after I had gotten upset with him. He did nothing wrong! I was the one who was just having a hard day and happen to take it out on him. He also brings me home my favorite kinds of chocolate after hard days, without me having to ask. It always makes my day just to know he knows my heart and desires ( which include cadbury cream eggs....mmmmm)
**He saw me cleaning our bathroom today and went and cleaned the other one while I was still cleaning ours. After that he went and ran errands for me and even went grocery shopping so I could get more stuff done at home, and all without a single complaint. He is a life saver. I LOVE HIM!!
6 comments:
Life is SO good, isn't it Stephanie! Thank you for this post. I love what you've written here. Q and I were off shopping for (free) prom dresses that morning, so we only caught a couple of the afternoon talks. I'm going to have to go back and catch up. Thank you for your insight.
You have a darling family. What a blessing that you followed what you knew was right. You are totally being blessed for it. Anyone that knows you can see that. You are an amazing person!
Stepho! I'm in Oregon! I meant to get in touch with you sooner, call me 714.865.4068 (I don't have your number). Let's get together soon, I miss you!
I agree that General Conference is amazing! I also love that it brings us back to ourselves and making sure we are in check. Glad you guys are doing well!
Hi. Friend of a friend here. I couldn't help but read this and have a few thoughts I wanted to express.
It seems obvious that you are really upset. I assume someone you know made a comment about how waiting to have kids will make a marriage better and parenting better? It appears that upset you because you didnt wait long to have kids in your own marriage. Maybe that person was only referring to their own marriage? Maybe that person meant for their own situation waiting was best for them. I just think you should think about it that way too.
Also, I wanted to point out a little bit of a hyporcitic statement. It's good to be aware of these.You shouldn't get upset at people for things you do yourself too.
You said, and I quote: "I think that because we didn't start out our marriage with two successful careers and a nice home and savings in the bank, we will always be more grateful for what we do have."
You see, in the same exact way that you were upset with someone (i assume a friend) for saying that you only have a good marriage and good parenting if you wait to have children...You yourself are saying that you are ONLY grateful and happy if a couple starts out their marriage poor, without a home, and with no savings.
That's a little wrong to say. Sure you had some trials that others didn't...but so had everyone else out there. Everyone has trials. Even the ones that have a h0me. I think you could have offended your blog readers by saying that.
Some people that read your blog may have a home and a savings and are still GRATEFUL people. Some of your readers may have two careers and no children yet but are still struggling with other trials BUT THEY ARE STILL GRATEFUL PEOPLE. AND STILL FEEL BLESSED. You know?
So I would think about that in how you write. Just because that friend wanted to wait...doesn't mean they were judging your marriage. And just because you didn't have some of the things you wanted like a home or savings doesn't mean you should assume you are MORE grateful than others. that is a bit self-righteous.
Love,
AaTerri
Really enjoyed this post. Also, it didn't seem to me that you were generalizing your statement of how you are more grateful because you started out with less to other people. It sounded like a personal statement.
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