Desires

General Conference is always so amazing.  It is only half way through and I have already learned so much.  One of my favorite talks so far was Elder Dallin H Oaks talk on desires.  I loved it.  It hit so close to a lot of things that have been going through my mind lately.  Here are my favorite quotes from it:

"Desires dictate our priorities. 

Priorities dictate our choices.

Choices dictate our actions."

What we persistantly desire is what we will become and what will be ours through eternity.  

He will judge us according to our works and according to the desires of our hearts.  

We may be tempted to seek after property, prominance, pride and power- they should not be our highest priorities.  

It is our actions and desires that cause us to become something.  

Above all, we should desire to become like HIM.

I really enjoyed this talk for a few reasons. 

Every now and then, I lose focus on my priorities.  I start looking at other's lives that have taken a different route and find myself starting to desire more and more for things we don't have right now.  It makes me appreciate what we do have less and less.  That is why things like going to church, serving others and listening to conference are so good- they bring you back and help you re-establish your priorities.  

  I have almost given up on blogging so many times in the past year or so. I am not talking about in  keeping up my own blog (I will continue to use it as a journal so I can print it into books for our family one day!), but in reading other's blogs.  I have been frustrated  with some of the things people say and constantly post about.   It gets harder and harder to relate to old friends when they babble on about how getting married and having children right away is so limiting and takes away all your fun or how you can't have a good marriage unless you wait and go have fun together first and travel and play.  It REALLY bugs me.  Why?

***I got married at 19.  (gasp!)  I thought it was crazy at first too when JC wanted me to follow him out to Oregon and be his wife, but only for the reasons of how young I was.  I soon learned from a wonderful experience that when you find the right one, there is no point in waiting and that it was the right thing for me personally to do.  I knew without a doubt that JC was the right one from the first few weeks we started dating.  I had actually dated quite a bit already for a 19 year old before I met him.  He was everything I had been looking for in a worthy priesthood holder.  It did help that I was extremely attracted to him and he loved sports even more than I did :).  He had all the good qualities I had liked from previous boyfriends and none of their bad qualities. He was perfect, and still is.  

***We both loved kids and talked from the beginning about how excited we were to be able to raise Heavenly Father's children together.  I had wanted to be a mother my entire life (my own mother can vouch for that).  We had our first little boy 15 months after we got married.  It was 3 months after my 20th birthday.  We had our 2nd little boy two years after that.   It has been wonderful.  Very hard and very tiring at times, but oh so rewarding.  Our marriage has thrived as we have worked together to try to figure out how to be the best parents we can be.  We have spent so many nights cuddling in bed together talking late into the night about each of our boys- their different personalities, how to help them in areas they are struggling in, how exciting it was to see them accomplish a certain milestone, how hilarious they can be, how forgiving of us they are, and our hopes and dreams for them and our family in the times that are ahead.  Nothing has brought me greater joy and happiness.  NEVER ONCE have we said we wished we had waited a little longer to have children.  I do not believe the whole "you will be stronger and better parents if you wait."  I do think it is different for everyone and is something that should be a decision made by you and your spouse with the Lord's guidance on when is right for you and your family.  It should not be a decision you decide on based on what everyone else thinks and no one is in a position to tell someone else when they think the time is right for that person.   As long as you have righteous desires and a selfless attitude, you will be blessed with help from above and your family will thrive. 

*** We have ALWAYS had our needs met.  No we don't own a big fancy home yet.  Yes we spent the first 3 years of our marriage as poor starving college students.  It has been very hard financially at times, but we have always had our needs met and more.  Miracles have come from having faith and paying tithing.  Prayers have been answered and blessing sent.  I cannot even begin to describe how full my heart is with gratitidue.  I think that because we didn't start out our marriage with two successful careers and a nice home and savings in the bank, we will always be more grateful for what we do have.  We have worked hard and at times have had to put A LOT of trust and faith in the Lord without knowing how things will work out.   I cannot wait to be able to share some of those testimony building experiences we have had through those times with our children and grandchildren at a time when they will be ready and needing to hear them.  

***Our boys are healthy and HAPPY.  SO happy.  We love them with our whole hearts.  They love us, they love each other and are thriving. It is not what you have around you that makes you a better parent, it is what you desire, what your attitude is and the choices you make.  Like Elder Oaks said, it is all about your priorities and the desires in your heart. 

THANK YOU Elder Oaks for reminding me of those things I need to be desiring after and what should be my top priorities.  

I love being a mother.  I love being a wife.  I love my family.  I cannot wait to "Listen to a prophet's voice" tomorrow.  Here's how you can listen if you are not a member of our church and are interested in what I am talking about:

http://lds.org/general-conference/watch?lang=eng

Oh, and one more thing.  I have the best husband in the world.  I love him.  Here's a few of my reasons why, just from this week alone:

** He knew when I was leaving our messy house Wednesday night for mutual that I was stressed out about my boss coming by the next morning.  I came home from a wonderful evening in the temple with the youth in doing baptisms to about 3 loads of laundry all folded, dishes done, kitchen spotless, the family room vacuumed and my office all tidied up and looking nice.  I wanted to cry I was so grateful for him.  

** After an emotional break down and grumpy day from me due to that special time of month, HE was the one to apologize first after I had gotten upset with him.  He did nothing wrong! I was the one who was just having a hard day and happen to take it out on him.  He also brings me home my favorite kinds of chocolate after hard days, without me having to ask.  It always makes my day just to know he knows my heart and desires ( which include cadbury cream eggs....mmmmm)

**He saw me cleaning our bathroom today and went and cleaned the other one while I was still cleaning ours.  After that he went and ran errands for me and even went grocery shopping so I could get more stuff done at home, and all without a single complaint.  He is a life saver.  I LOVE HIM!!

BIG NEWS

First of all-  NO, I am NOT Pregnant. That is not the big news.


Ok, got that out of the way.  Just wanted to post some new updates for us.... I apologize for the very belated Christmas post, but since this is like my journal, I had to still get it in there.


Anyways,  here's our biggest updates for the past few months:


#1.  Baron is officially and completely POTTY TRAINED!!!


It only took about 3 devoted days before he was completely loving the new big boy undies and the idea that he can go potty on his own.  The best trick that really clicked for him was sitting him backwards on the pot.  Makes it SO much easier and he can even climb up and go on his own!  Also, I really mean that he is completely potty trained- he does not wear any diapers, EVER! WAHOO!!!!!  About a week after we started potty training I noticed he was keeping his diaper dry at night.  So we just decided to go for it and get rid of diapers completely.  He's only had about 2 accident's in the past 2 months at night so far! (unlike his older brother who still has accidents once every week or two- not sure what to do about that! Any advice??)  He is doing great and I cannot even begin to describe my joy at not having to buy any more diapers for him and not having to clean a messy bum!




#2.  I FINALLY got a correct diagnosis for my knee!!!


This is HUGE.  It has been something over the past few years that have been really difficult for me.  To go from being active and always doing some type of sport or running my whole life to not being able to do anything at all after just having baby #2 was really difficult for me.  I have really struggled.  The surgery was suppose to help and instead seemed to make everything worse and take away any strength I did have left in that particular knee.  SO frustrating.  But, after finally going to a highly recommended Orthopedic Surgeon a year and a half after the surgery, there is FINALLY a light at the end of the tunnel.  What is different?  Well the first thing is that this new Doc after looking at my previous MRI pictures determined that the reason the surgery did nothing and has only in fact slowed everything down is that the first Doc misdiagnosed my knee and that surgery was actually not necessary, or even an MRI. As soon as I explained to the new Doc my symptoms and the original story of when I first noticed things going wrong, he knew exactly what I had.  He did a quick and easy Xray from a certain angle that hadn't been done yet on my knee to confirm his suspicions and was able to get a correct diagnosis.  So, instead of having some random injury and scar tissue build up causing the pain and inability to fully straighten my leg (which was the first diagnosis), I was told I have Trochlear Dysplasia.  He explained that is is rare and is passed down through females in certain genes usually and that because it is so rare, Doctors often miss it and come up with another diagnosis that usually doesn't end up right.  After he explained it all about what it is and the gene thing (my sister has problems with her knee cap too!), I just knew it was the right diagnosis finally and that treating that was going to be the right thing that would work this time.  It felt right and I finally felt peace over it.


SO, the treatment for Trochlear Dysplasia is A LOT of physical therapy, but the key to it working is this:

Meet my new Best Friend

This is a knee cap stabilizing knee brace.  I am suppose to wear it as much as possible (while taking some breaks to give my skin some breathing room and to sleep), so that the muscles around my knee will get used to holding my knee cap in place.  That is the biggest problem with my knee is that the knee cap tracks back and forth and is really close to dislocating all the time. That little blue thing holds the knee cap right in place.  It takes me a couple of minutes to get it on tight enough and to where my knee cap is really in the right place- which I can tell by if I have pain when I straighten my leg completely.  I especially need to wear the brace while doing any physical activity, going up or down stairs and while doing my physical therapy.  They say I may have to wear it for up to a year constantly and then after that still wear it while running or playing sports for possibly my whole life.  That is a lot, BUT, I am just so happy to know there is a cure and an opportunity for me to be able to run again.  That is still 4-6  months or so away because my muscles are totally gone from the surgery, but both my Dr. and my Physcial therapist were pretty positive that I will be able to run again.  I have been doing physical therapy for the past few weeks, and already there has been tremendous improvement- which there never was before without the brace and this new physical therapist who is wonderful and really knows what he is doing and how to help me fully recover!


#3- Still love our ward and the friends we have made!!


Just wanted to throw that in there.  We have really been able to do a lot of fun date nights lately and hang out with some great friends we've been able to make in this ward.  We LOVE our ward.  There are so many fun and wonderful people in it.  I love my young women.... they are some of the best girls I know and I am super sad to have to say goodbye to 7, yes that's right, SEVEN of them in a few months after they graduate.  :(  We will be left with 3 laurels after that for a while.  Jackson and Baron have also been blessed to have made lots of good friends from the ward too! We recently split a Children's Museum pass with a friend and her kids who are the same ages and it has been fun to be able to go together, especially during the rainy season!


Anyways, that about sums it up for now!  I am making a goal to blog more often.... promise.  No more 2 months later posts..... hopefully :)

Christmas Happenings

Yes we did celebrate Christmas this year... I have just been too busy with various Dr. appointments and work and trying to catch up that I haven't had time to think about putting all the pictures from Christmas into a blog post.  But here I am.... so let's get to it! Better late than never!

John and I both were able to get the entire week in between Christmas and New Year's off from work.  It was heavenly and a much needed break.  We took down our cute little apartment sized tree on the 23rd:

and headed out on the 24th down to Glide, OR to John's parents (or Grandpa and Grandma's house as we know it now).  We were sad not to be able to go all the way to CA this year to be with my family, but lucky because Nick and Christi (John's older brother and wife) and their girls decided to come out to Glide for Christmas and the break!! It was a BLAST!! It had been way way too long since we have seen them and their cute little girls!  Highlights from the week:

**Christmas morning!!  I think we had been up and had all the presents unwrapped by 7:15 am.  That's what happens when you have 4 kids ages 4 and under in the same house!

**A girls trip into town, WITHOUT KIDS, for Pedicures and to get our makeup done!

**Playing basketball and getting to watch Aunt Heather (john's younger sister) play on the Varsity High School basketball team as a freshman!

**Staying up late watching movies, playing games and sitting in the hot tub

**Having it SNOW!!  And driving up to play in even more snow!

**Taking the kids swimming with Grandma Sue!

**LOTS and LOTS of good food!!

**Being together with everyone and getting to do lots of relaxing!

My only complaint is that it went by way too fast.  We ended up staying longer than we had originally intended just because their was so much to do and time flew by too fast!  We had a great time!

The boys scored in the pj department!  Grandma Sue and Heather picked out the cutest pj's for them that were Toy Story inspired, and then my mom made them pj bottoms- Cars ones for Jackson and mickey mouse for Baron.  The looked so cute in all of them... I made them change half way through the morning!

The much anticipated Iron Man

 He was SO excited

 Legos!! Just what he had asked Santa for

 Dinosaurs from Grammie and Papa

 SNOW!!

 I LOVE this picture

 Reagan eating some snow

 Glide is SO pretty, especially with the snow!

 Alice and Baron- most likely doing something they shouldn't be doing :)

 Reagan and Jackson...  they had a lot of fun together!

I finally just caved in and bought some more storage space for images so I could update the blog (it was extremely cheap, luckily).  So here's a post to get going again and the Christmas one will be coming soon!

Matthew Knight Arena

Originally we were planning on driving over to the coast this past Saturday, but after we found out the forecast  at the coast was suppose to be cold and rainy all day, we decided to postpone that trip.  Then I saw online that the Duck's Women's basketball games for the last 3 Saturday games were only $2! So instead, we headed down to Eugene to go watch some bball and check out the brand new UofO Matthew Knight Arena that was just completed! We were dying to go check it out anyways, and were able to convince Grandpa, Grandma Sue and Heather to meet us and come to the game as well! It was really fun, even though the Ducks lost in the end, and we really enjoyed checking out the whole arena.  It is really nice and has some really neat murals all over from some of the best teams from U of O history.  It was fun to see one mural of Aaron Brooks last second shot in the game against UCLA to win it.  That was while John was still going to the U of O and we were there at the game! It was fun to try to see if we could find ourselves in the crowd. :)

Anyways, after the game John's parents took us all out to eat at Outback Steakhouse.....mmmmm. So tasty! I'm so glad we went down to Eugene! The boys also had a GREAT time.  Jackson really loved the bball game.  Here's our pictures from the day!

Even though this is one of the Oregon girl's getting stuffed, it's still a sweet picture John got...

The Duck

 Not sure if there's any difference between these two pictures, but they are two different ones!

My weekend with the boys

I am sure everyone is getting sick of my New Year's post and I have been dying to put up a post full of Christmas pictures.... but blogger is being weird and telling me there is no more space on the picasa web albums and won't let me add new pictures.... not sure what that is all about.  Anybody have any advice or knowledge about that?  I really don't want to have to start a new blog, but I just might have to.  grrrrrr.


Anyways, the boys are finally asleep and I can't help but sit here and smile thinking about our weekend.  It was a great weekend!  And you know what I loved the most about it?  It wasn't spent at Disneyland or at the beach or on a trip or somewhere expensive.  In fact, it was mostly spent at home.  We did get to go out to dinner with some fun friends Friday night without our kids and we also got to spend Saturday night at a family in our ward's house eating dinner and chatting away while the kids played with toys and watched Despicable Me.  Those were both very fun nights.  But what I am thinking about the most right now, is how much I LOVE these two little guys:

They seriously are the best.  The rest of our weekend was spent by being shot by invisible guns, playing 3 little pigs and hiding under blankets, jumping on beds, giggling like crazy, watching the boys run around our home wearing batman capes while claiming to be chasing the bad guys, doing lots of dog piles, talking about superheroes and trains and cars and fighting over which fruit snacks are better- the batman or spiderman ones.


It was filled with scenes like coming out of the bathroom to a stick-up and having to pretend injury after the two little bandits shoot you and then watching as they tucked their little squirt guns back into their church pant's pocket and walk away all proud of their "good guy" work.


It was hearing things like,  "Hey don't shoot mommy!"  (me)   and "Yeah, we only shoot Daddy bad guys, Baron!"  (Jackson)  that made it so entertaining.


And scenes of little naked white buns flying past with water still dripping from their hair after their bath with the cutest little giggles coming out of their mouths that kept me laughing the whole weekend long.


And funny things said like  "I need to wear this helmet so I can fly safe" from Jackson who was currently acting as batman that made me want to never let them grow up.




I don't know what I will do when these two grow up and it becomes too cool to go to bed with fake guns and iron man and buzz.  It is going to be really hard to see that happen.  I am so relieved to know I still have a good while to enjoy it before they do actually grow up.  I just hope I never forget the little moments  of fun like the ones we enjoyed all weekend!

A New Year!!

I am really happy 2010 is over.  Both 2009 and 2010 were difficult ones (as I am sure it was for many with this darn recession).  Although I know there will be some challenging moments and things to overcome in this next year, I am still happy to see it come.  I didn't even bother to set any goals or recognize it being a new year last year.   With having just moved for the 3rd time in 4 months, not having a place to call home, me not being able to start my new job when we were suppose to (got put off by 2 extra months!), my knee not doing so well after having to live on the 3rd floor for 4 months and having to go up and down the stairs multiple times a day just months after my surgery on it, as well as John's public tax accounting job blowing up and getting as stressful as possible as well as not having any time to study for and pass the CPA with the pressure of needing to pass it from his work, LIFE WAS CRAZY.  It wasn't the best start to a new year, needless to say.  We have concluded that our theme for 2010 was SURVIVAL, whether we liked it or not. 


BUT, it IS a NEW YEAR, and we are determined to make it a better one!  Our new theme for the year 2011 is to OVERCOME and to THRIVE.  And I am confident we can do it!  Mostly because John and I are both in wonderful new jobs now that have been a HUGE blessing, but also because through all our struggles we most definitely learned a great deal about not giving up and trying your best to still have hope, faith and trust in our Father in Heaven to help us get through and come out on top.  Another big reason I think we will get through this year while thriving is that we are in the most amazing ward that is SO supportive and loving, and we have FRIENDS!! I mean, good, close friends (and more than just one set of close friends), that would drop everything in an instant to help out and be there for us.  It really makes a huge difference, especially when you don't live close to any family.  It was difficult for us to make and keep such close friends when we were moving so often and living in a further city away from the ones we had.  But after many earnest prayers for some extra support, I really feel like this new ward and living back by some other dear and close friends has been a huge blessing and answer to prayers.  


SO, all that being said, BRING ON THE NEW YEAR!!  I have been thinking and talking with John a lot about this new year and have come up with a lot of little goals, but also some big, key, main goals for us:


**JOHN**


1. Take out all the trashes without being asked


2. Do all dishes


3.  Make dinner once a week


Ok, ok, so maybe these are my goals for John.... hehe.  Since he is a big boy, I will let him come up with his own :)


* *STEPH**


1. RESTORE HEALTH-  


I am really tired of having the body function of an 80 year old.  Plus, we would really like to have another baby sometime before the boys graduate high school :).  It is going to take a lot of exercise and dedication, LOTS of not so fun Dr. appointments, a possible MRI, a chance of another surgery, LAB tests, lots of physical therapy (and different kinds, not just on my knee), lots of frustration, patience, prayers and I am sure lots of tears.  It won't be easy, that's for sure.  But I need to do this.  There are some things my body is really struggling with right now and this year is going to be all about getting them fixed the best my body will allow.  I am so ready for it.  I feel like John's new job couldn't have come at a better time for this too... with health insurance and coverage with his new job being 100 x's better as well as his boss and company being more flexible and understanding and WAY nicer, I feel the timing is perfect.  I can do this.  I know I can.... but I am still a bit nervous and anxious for it all.  Wish me luck!


2.  MAKE JOHN'S LUNCH!!


Believe it or not, I struggle to remember to do this for him most days.  I am determined to remember most days at least (I know better than to expect 100% after failing so miserably already).  I am also hoping this goal will save us some mula in the end too so he doesn't have to eat out everyday! 


3. READ THE NEW TESTAMENT


It's been a while... in fact, I am not sure I have ever read the New Testament from beginning to end straight through, every single verse (gasp!).  Since it is what we are studying in Sunday School this year I really want to do it.  I look forward to having my testimony of Christ strengthened while I read about his life and mission while here on this earth. 


4. LESS TIME ON COMPUTER!!


I really think the less time I spend on here, the more time my will kids get from me.  I also think the less time on here I spend, the more attention my home, the laundry, the dishes, etc, will get from me.  Hopefully this will ease all of our burdens and stress a little more :)  But don't worry, I still plan on blogging, since this is my way of journaling and keeping the grandparents and family and friends living far away updated. 




**JACKSON**


1. Learn the sounds of and learn to write ALL ABC's and numbers 1-10.  


He is doing pretty good.  We have gotten to the letter G so far as well as he can write his name, but I really want him to learn them all and be writing them by next year. 


2. Master side breathing stroke in swimming and participate in and learn a new sport!


He still loves swimming and is so darn good at it, so we will continue putting him in lessons and are hoping to get into a little baseball, basketball or soccer too!


3. Learn more of the words to different primary songs and memorize a new scripture

He is in CTR 4 now... no longer a sunbeam! How did he get so old??




**BARON**


1. Become POTTY TRAINED!!!


I don't think he will have many problems with this... I really think I just need to find time to work with him and he will do great since he already likes to sit on the potty and talks so well. 


2. Overcome the terrible 2's


He really isn't that bad, but every now and then has some melt downs over independency battles. So, he is making a goal to overcome that :)


3. Stop growing up so fast and stay super cute and sweet, PLEASE. 


I am really pushing for this one. 




That about sums it up! Here's to hoping 2011 is full of Thriving and joy! I know there will be lots of ups and downs, but I am hopeful for this new year.  Happy New Year's everyone!! Hopefully those of you that have had tough year's lately will be able to thrive this year as well!!